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Douche Canoe

from Ambiguous Poems About Death by Spray

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lyrics

There's a tradition of songs in the lexicon
Of criticizing the foibles of your loved one
Then realizing the subject ain't all that bad
Concluding "love conquers all", and you're back on track

"My baby don't talk sweet he ain't got much to say"
If that were only the case we'd have brighter days
But all that you say and do puts me right on edge
And though the outcome is bleak I will make this pledge

You're such a douche canoe
You're such a douche canoe
You're such a douche canoe
And I won't tolerate you

You mispronounce foreign words ostentatiously
Refer to all politicians satirically
Retweet replies to the tweets, not the tweets themselves
You've spent a week organising your Zoom bookshelves

You buy up vinyl from ASDA to put in frames
You won't eat food if it's been near to mayonnaise
You drive a car irregardless of right of way
You laugh at me celebrating the cat's birthday

You're such a douche canoe and I won't tolerate you

You're why there's warnings on silica packs of gel
And you'll deny that it's all down to you as well
You have a system for what goes where in the fridge
You have a favourite biscuit and will not switch

It could be worse, but not much, and that seems to be
Quite why we do stay together eternally
I'm just too lazy to leave and it may be true
That in the great scheme of things we're both douche canoes

You're such a douche canoe and I won't tolerate you

credits

from Ambiguous Poems About Death, released November 26, 2021

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Spray Lancashire, UK

Ric and Jen were members of 21st century pop terrorists The Cuban Boys, who topped John Peel's Festive 50 and the UK singles charts.

Their offshoot project Spray predicted the electropop boom, unfortunately much too early for them to cash in. They released two albums in 2002 and 2006.

In 2016 they released their first full length studio album in 10 years - 'Enforced Fun'.
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