Diabolical Mastermind

from Enforced Fun by Spray

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An electronics whizz with a chip on each shoulder and psychotic tendencies,
Your world fascinates me.
With a splash of jingoism and a pop art motif,
The taste of warm beer and a shot of hot tea,
However much you cackle you’ll never get away with this.

Now jamming satellites with a bomb the size of London in a zeppelin over France.
It’s a magnificent plan!
The fact you’ve thought it up disproves a theory of mine,
That it’s falling education standards turn you to crime,
But best of British anyway - it’s death by whimsy for you.

How do I keep this up?
When every turn conceals potential pain
From shredding, crushing, falling masonry from Viennese palaces

Oh you diabolical mastermind

Back at the drawing board with another evil scheme involving cricket and a Ferris wheel,
I’ll foil your dastardly deed.
You needn’t bother sending me the blueprints as a ruse,
I’m 40 steps ahead without irrelevant clues
So better luck next time, no hard feelings I hope.

Why do you persist in this?
When every one of my adversaries
Always comes a cropper
Despite their massive weaponry

Oh you diabolical mastermind

Couldn’t you channel your obsessive disposition some other way?
Maybe in arts or sports you’d find a way of expressing your anger and pain?

Despite your shady streak I’m starting to warm to your gallant, suave and courteous style.
You must be pleasant sometimes.
Weren’t you loved as a child? Were you bullied and teased?
People never really took you seriously?
Just lie back, relax I think we’re making some progress today.

How can I feel this way?
I lie awake and imagine you and me
It’s that enigma complex making you irresistable


from Enforced Fun, released April 29, 2016
Written and performed by Jenny McLaren and Ricardo Autobahn.
Orchestra conducted by Derek McGee.


all rights reserved



Spray Lancashire, UK

Ric and Jen were members of 21st century pop terrorists The Cuban Boys, who topped John Peel's Festive 50 and the UK singles charts.

Their offshoot project Spray predicted the electropop boom, unfortunately much too early for them to cash in. They released two albums in 2002 and 2006.

In 2016 they released their first full length studio album in 10 years - 'Enforced Fun'.
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